Xiao Se

Xiao Se was my first street friend in China.
I loved her. I still do.
But I lost her 6 years ago.
I miss her.

I first saw Xiao Se and her newborn "sister" in front of a fancy shopping mall.
For days, I bought food and sat with them on the street, hoping that she would talk to me.

I never considered helping the poor as some kind of a "ministry" like most people call it.
My motive was plain selfish, I wanted to be with Jesus.

I love Jesus and I just wanted to be with the one I love.

Xiao Se was about 10 years old. Or maybe less.
I could not tell. She did not know.

After days of silence, she finally spoke,
"Do you have a fridge at home? I have never seen one."

"I have one at home. Why don't you come check it out ?" I was excited.

We took the bus home.

"Wow. Is this what I think it is? A washing machine?"

"Oh. Is this a fridge? What is the use of it anyway?"

My roommate Emily was shocked that I brought 2 total strangers home. Ha. I could still remember her reaction and her face!

"How can a baby be this dirty!? I need to give her a bath!" Without delay, Emily snatched up the baby sister and took her to the bath.

Xiao Se and I became friends after that. I loved spending time with her. We would walk around the city, talking, eating, laughing, just having fun together.

She loved to throw trash on the road and I would always pick it up and hand it back to her. She told everyone that I was her big sister. "Be nice to her!" She commanded her "friends".

She would also introduce me to her friends,
"This boy lives close to us. I don't like his father though. His father cut both of his arms off just so they could make some money and eat."

She said it matter of fact-ly.
All the more, I tried to keep my cool.

One day, she looked at me with a deep concern,
"My nai nai wants to see you."

I knew she did not have a nai nai (grandma).
She did not have a family.

At that moment, I knew... I was in.
I was invited to meet the "leader" of the gang.
I was invited into a world I never dare entering.
A world that is no way back.